An Abundant Life

For almost 20 years of my Christian life, I wondered what it felt like to live the abundant life mentioned in scripture. I also wondered what it would be like to truly experience joy, not just talk about it.
The promises of God seemed far off or like they were out of reach. At least for me. I prayed to experience them. I talked with others about it. I prayed earnestly for it. But, nothing I did brought me any closer to the actual experience of joy or peace that produces the abundant life.
It all left me scratching my head. What was I missing? Why were others content or were they just faking it like I was? And the big one, how could I be fully human and alive?

Then God began to unravel all my tangled thinking. You know, the core beliefs, the wounding that made me less trusting, the hypervigilance that accompanies trauma. And of course, the anxiety.