After my parents divorced, I dreaded the holidays. My parents divorced when I was about 14. Every holiday after that, I felt like I was hurting the parent I wasn't with. I felt like I was betraying the one I wasn't spending the day with.
Then I got married and had a family of my own. Because my husband also came from a divorced family, the stress got worse as we tried our best to see everyone.
Today, life is better for lots of reasons. I'm a grandmother, I have a wonderful husband, wonderful adult children and our families come to our house now. I AM TRULY THANKFUL!
What I didn't know then was I was trying to take care of my parent's emotions. I didn't know it wasn't my responsibility. And to be clear, my parents never asked me to. It was just something I picked up. So where did I learn that?
I learned it from the little things parents say to their children. Things like " Make mommy and daddy proud" and "Don't embarrass me in front of ...." I'm sure you've heard it before. You've probably heard it in older movies. You may have even heard our parents say things like this.
All of these well-intentioned phrases stem from parenting styles being passed on from one generation to another. None of our parents meant to make us bear the responsibility for their happiness. It was just an unintended consequence.
If you're an adult that gets stressed out and anxious during the holidays at the thought of being around family, Let's talk. I'm here for you.
All you have to do is go to this link and scroll to the bottom of the page to schedule a complimentary call https://www.ptcenter.life/
My mission and call are to see the message of emotional healing through Christ become as much a part of your Christian experience as reading, worship, and prayer are.